The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want: A Simple Plan to Stop People ... Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

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Maurice Mcleod, a writer and local councillor, found that his inability to say “no” caused him serious problems when he went freelance about a decade ago. He took on so many projects and agreed to do so many favours that, he says, he was living with “a constant feeling of unease and panic. Every time the phone rang, I’d think: ‘Oh my God, who’s that, what haven’t I done?’ It was this constant feeling of letting people down.” He took on so much unpaid work that he had to refuse work that was paid, got into debt, and realised the only way out was to just say “no”.

In het derde deel neemt ze je mee door de zes stappen om met plezier nee te leren zeggen. Ook hierin definieert ze weer per stap aan de hand van de type pleaser hoe deze stap het beste genomen kan worden. Ook dit was enorm verhelderend, motiverend en leerzaam. Door de voorbeelden die ze geeft zie ik ook echt de mogelijkheden hoe het gedrag doorbroken kan worden en kan worden veranderd. Wat ook sterk is aan haar verhaal is dat ze ook de kant belicht dat dingen niet ineens lukken en je ongetwijfeld meerdere malen de fout in zal gaan. Ook dit weet ze motiverend te belichten. Podcast Episodes You May Enjoy Chatter & Your Inner Voice – Ethan Kross Everyday Vitality – Dr. Samantha Boardman Plays Well with Others – Eric Barker The Emotional Side of Retiring – Kate Schroeder If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no, this may help. Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person

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My boss called me one day and was asked if I could work the following Saturday. As usual, I blurted out a polite “Yes, of course, that’s no problem at all.” I actually had plans with my boyfriend, which I was really looking forward to. It is interesting to see the reasoning of these people through the eyes of the author who initially speaks from experience and I feel that this makes it powerfully helpful to those who really need advice regarding how to set limits and above all start Say no to things you don't agree with. Her patients tell her, she says, that “they cannot continue living at the pace they’re living at”, but at the same time, they cannot stop – they cannot say no. When she hears these words, Andrew begins thinking about “the core beliefs underneath people’s inability to say no”. When patients describe struggling to refuse to take on extra responsibilities at work, she says there is often an underlying fear that others will think they are not trying hard enough, an underlying fear that they are not good enough. That compulsive “yes” also forms part of a precarious solution to their self-doubt, she says, as, unconsciously: “They use this constant striving to make themselves feel better, to get that buzz from achieving things.” I realized I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. I was afraid that every time I did this, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude.

So many of us struggle with feelings of abandonment, rejection, feeling not good enough, and people pleasing with emotionally unavailable and shady folks. We’ve been scared of boundaries, expressing our needs, being less than perfect, and becoming more of who we are, and so we settle for crumbs and abandon and hurt ourselves in the process. Lo unico negativo es que lo sentui muy largo, al menos la primera mitad donde se explican los tipos de personas complacientes, muchas partes me parecieron innecesarias, pero aun asi es un libro que puedo llegar a recomendar a personas en especifico.

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It seems it is more complicated to experience “#Jono” than Harding suggests in her book, which is full of sentences such as: “Ditch the guilt.” Reader, at this my laughter was bitter and hollow.

I have learned that if you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy. But sadly, we hold onto our childhood beliefs and we continue to associate no with being dislikeable, bad-mannered, unkind, or selfish. We worry that if we say no, we will feel humiliated, guilty, or ashamed, and will end up being alone, rejected, or abandoned. Knowing Your ValueLive your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” ~Sonya Parker She adds: “Assertive communication is about being really clear what your role is and isn’t, so there are clear boundaries – then you know what you should be saying ‘yes’ to and what you can justifiably say ‘no’ to.” And it turns out that being able to say ‘no’ is a vital skill for work success. In his new book Great at Work: How Top Performers Work Less and Achieve More, based on a survey of 5,000 employees and managers in which work practices were charted against results, author Morten T. Hansen has distilled the findings into ‘work-smart’ practices. The first step, he found, is to have the courage and discipline to focus on very few key tasks, and go all-in on those. Managers need to become ‘do-less bosses’ who listen to employees when they say that giving them more work is counterproductive. And employees need to get better at saying ‘no’. Het verhaal kent een heldere opbouw die is opgedeeld in drie delen. In het eerste deel, stelt Natalie Lue de vraag of je een people pleaser bent en wat dat precies inhoudt. Het mooie aan dit deel is dat ze ook haar eigen persoonlijke verhaal deelt als enorme people pleaser waarbij ze zichzelf constant wegcijferde en te veel van zichzelf vroeg. Later, I found myself feeling absolutely terrible about having said yes and I wished that I had just had the guts to say no from the beginning.

Saying no doesn’t mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no.Now that we are all adults, we are more mature and capable of making our own choices, as well as knowing the difference between wrong and right. Therefore, no shouldn’t be an off limits word, but rather something that we decide on ourselves, based on our own discretion. Are you still playing a role you learned in childhood to please others, such as the Good Girl/Boy, the Overachiever, or the Helper? Though these kinds of roles may have gained us attention and affection, they prohibited us from becoming our true selves. As I became a freelance writer, then a company director, some of the offers became career opportunities. Again, saying yes by default worked like a dream. It put me in rooms I could never have imagined being in and won me contracts I had no right to win. Even having no money was kind of liberating – it meant I couldn’t lose anything.